Each of us experiences disappointments in our life,Disappointment springs up
regularly in the workplace because many of us have limited control over our
work surroundings.
You get passed over for leading a task force, even though you
have all the requisite skills and experience. Someone else gets the raise that
you thought you deserved. Your co-worker says she is going to support you on a
task and she ducks out. That manuscript you submitted was rejected by a third
journal. One of your clients pulled the plug – he doesn’t want to work with you
anymore .
None of this feels good.
Ever notice how you don’t like the feeling of
disappointment? How incredibly discomforting it is? What you will do to avoid
it? Me too.
As humans, we squirm away from disappointment. Oftentimes we
get disheartened and start obsessing about the story line that led to our
disappointment instead of connecting with the actual feeling. We blame –
others, the economy, our childhood, traffic — even the dog. We think of ourselves
as failures. We push disappointment away turning it into anger. Or we push it
down turning it into depression. Just having it near us can be so scary.
Life is a constant changing wave – with the high tide of joys
and the low tides of disappointment and everything else in between. When we
keep pushing disappointment away from us at work, we also give our human wholeness
a shove. That part of us that contains
our essential goodness.
I don’t want to get carried away with the eye story, but last
year I had a lot of disappointments. separated from my family, hospitalized more than six time, Diagnosed With Keratoconus , undergo c3r surgery, good-bye chocolate, ice-cream and all delicious
food .
In my reflection time during treatment, I
realized that the more pushed the feelings of disappointment away, the more
miserable I became. And when I tried to hide from them, they started to creep
toward me like King Kong. When I shunned them, they were so persistent –
tapping me on the shoulder.
And so I started snuggling up with them, just like a good
book. I leaned in, got comfortable, and remained still. No pushing. No blaming.
Some moments, disappointment would be stuck in my body – not budging. I’d need
to breathe into it and invite it in a bit closer. Holding my vulnerability,
being with the tenderness. Soothing, without a story. Tuning into the
sensation. Naming the feeling, “Aah, that was disappointment.” And off it would
go.
What I experienced over and over again is that disappointment
doesn’t want to stick around. It wants to get its running shoes on and trek out
away from us. But sometimes it’s us that keep dragging our disappointments
through our muddy storylines. We won’t let go of it. We are tethered to its
pay-off. More suffering.
It’s truly our choice.
I’ve had enough disappointments professionally
and personally to know they are transitory. What is a disappointment one day
may turn out to be an opportunity the next. Think about when you thought a
window was closing and then all of a sudden a big door of opportunity swung
open. Perhaps your job was getting grueling and laborious but it was just the
spark plug for you to seek a better one. Sometimes a disheartening event gets
us ready to take the next big leap – the next big jump toward bigger joy, more appreciation,
and greater kindness.
I can’t imagine a more perfect this day – with my friend and a heart full of gratitude for each step of the way. All year’s disappointment transformed into this year’s magnificent joy.
I can’t imagine a more perfect this day – with my friend and a heart full of gratitude for each step of the way. All year’s disappointment transformed into this year’s magnificent joy.
May your disappointments circle back as
blessings. And this day, as always, may you be wise at work.
Remember Inspire Me Daily.One Person Can Make a Difference
